Collaborative Creativity with Your Growing Kids
We all believe in the mystery of how motherhood grows our creativity. And by nature of being part of Exhale, you believe in the value of keeping your creativity alive in the margins of motherhood. But what happens to your creativity when your kids get older, your time margins change, or your shared creative interests with your kids change?
Consider how your interests can fit with theirs
My boys are very into baseball cards. To say they have a large collection is a gross understatement. Last year, in the middle of Charles’ baseball season, he approached me while I was working. “Hey mom, do you think we could make baseball cards for my team?” I took a minute to think through what that would actually take—and how my skill set was uniquely positioned to easily accomplish this alongside him. Photographer? Check. Canva aficionado? Check. “I’d love to do that with you!” I replied.
At the next couple of games, with my camera in hand (and permission from all the parents), I captured action shots of each player. I showed them to Charles, and he made some small recommendations. After I edited the images, he designed a Canva file that we dropped each photo into. We did all the math on the exact size to order the prints, so we could laminate them and perfectly fit them into baseball sleeves. One of us (me) did the math wrong the first time, but eventually, we got it right. I received a dozen thank yous from Charles for helping and still smile when I think about how much fun he had handing them out to his friends.
Designing baseball cards was never on my creative bucket list, but it was one of the most satisfying creative projects I have ever done. This small practice taught me several things about staying creative alongside my growing kids.
Everyday creativity
My 10-year-old daughter had the privilege of visiting Paris this spring with her grandparents. Among the many incredible experiences she had, she could not stop telling us about Croque Madame being her favorite food there. I wholeheartedly agreed with her, and we talked about how everyone in the family would likely love it, too. With eager eyes, she looked at me and asked “Can I make Croque for everyone this week?” We had all the ingredients on hand, so Isla pulled out the griddle and I began to prepare the béchamel sauce.
As much as I value efficiency, I am constantly trying to grow in how I let my kids be creative in the kitchen. It looks different depending on the kid and the season. Sometimes, I let my kids select a recipe from a cookbook they’d like me to make that week. Sometimes, they are in charge of preparing that meal. It can be as simple as letting them pick out one thing at Costco for a meal or snack that week, or as elaborate as proudly assembling and plating the Croque Madame for everyone to enjoy. I love seeing my kids enjoy the rewarding creativity of a good meal that brings everyone around the table together. By inviting our kids into the kitchen, they begin to experience the delight of a beautiful meal shared with those you love.
My time will be my own again in a few short years
When people ask me about my flower garden, I feel I owe them a disclaimer: it’s not that pretty! It’s small and scattered. A little patch of dirt underneath the tree fort here, a garden bed beside the house there. The weeds are almost never under control. I usually laugh and say I will have an immaculate garden someday when my children are grown.
I have many creative interests, and it can be easy to feel like they are constantly taking the back burner. I really miss tackling a house project, the creative practice of thrifting, and I would love to watercolor paint on the regular. It’s a delicate dance between being disciplined enough to pursue my own creativity in the margins and being content with the creative opportunities that better allow me to connect with my children while they’re home. I believe that being creative with time in the car driving to and from activities nourishes my creative self the same way that getting creative with toddler meals nourished me ten years ago. I find great comfort in the creativity I am pursuing right now with my kids, knowing how quickly this season will slip through my fingers.
Consider/dream what the next 5 years of creativity might look like with your kids, then hold it loosely
For as long as I can remember, matching Christmas pajamas have been a tradition for our four kids. I know exactly when the Burts Bee’s holiday collection launches, and I know when to get the best sale. I love having everyone wear them with their winter boots the morning after Thanksgiving to go and select our Christmas tree at the tree farm. Over the last couple of years, I have noticed my oldest son getting a little less excited about the Christmas pajamas, especially wearing them in public. As much as I want to bring down the forceful fist of traditions that must not die, I think I’d rather adjust the tradition to something he may enjoy more. This year, I plan to ask for his opinion on the pajamas, and will also consider fun Christmas hats in place of the pajamas. Family traditions do not have to stay the same forever in order to be valuable. Stay creative with the role of tradition in memory keeping, and be open to adjusting as the seasons change.
Writing prompts for collaborative creativity alongside your growing kids:
What is one thing my child loves that I love?
What is one thing my child loves that I could learn to love alongside them?
How can my kids be creative in a way that incorporates our family values?