Nicole Gulotta
1. You are a wife, mother, foodie, podcast host, and writer – you wear so many hats! What does a typical day look like for you and your family?
Coronavirus has changed a lot about our routine, but for the sake of nostalgia (and hope of returning to some sense of normalcy soon) here’s what our days looked like a few months ago. Prior to hunkering down at home, my son was in preschool four days a week until three p.m., so that gave us one hangout day (we loved going to the children’s museum, taking walks in the park, or attending a music class) plus afternoons together, which felt just right.
After breakfast, my husband left for work and dropped off our son on the way, so my day could get started pretty seamlessly. I’d spend my hours doing a range of things like freelance work, exercise, writing and recording podcast episodes, meditating, prepping a newsletter, or getting a head start on meals. After school we played in the yard or did a puzzle, and then it was time for a movie while I started making dinner.
2. You’ve transitioned over the years from blog-writing to book-writing, and from food-writing to writing about the creative process. When you made those transitions, how did you maintain confidence that it was the direction you were supposed to be headed?
Such a good question! The transitions felt really natural to me, mostly because I simply followed my curiosity. Before I started blogging in 2008, I had no intention of writing a cookbook, but when I left my first blog behind for Eat This Poem, it made sense to combine my background in poetry with my love of food. Wild Words (under various guises and names) really sprouted during that period. I started a newsletter in 2013 specifically to talk about creative living, a topic I felt couldn’t live on my food blog, so it’s all been a very slow evolution over the years.
Because I’d been having these creativity conversations for a while, when my agent and I talked about the idea of working on a book about the writer’s life and how I balanced work, motherhood, and creativity, everything fell in line. It’s this soul-feeling that’s difficult to explain, really. I was confident, in part, because of my community. It’s why I’m so adamant about writers starting newsletters or finding meaningful ways to grow their readership—those folks will be your biggest champions, no matter what you write next.
3. In your most full or challenging seasons, how have you still managed to create?
One word at a time. Let’s take coronavirus, for example. The first thing I did when faced with the prospect of sheltering in place for the foreseeable future was shift my expectations. I took a look at the projects I had in motion, decided which ones to finish and which to pause, and essentially released any pressure associated with creating. It’s so important—no matter what the circumstance—to get clear on your realistic capacity, not what your dream scenario looks like. I’m still writing, but not in the same ways, and I feel good about it because I let go of having three hours at a time to write, and am leaning into the margins I can find throughout the day, like writing on the floor in a notebook while my son colors next to me or builds a lego tower.
Setting clear priorities also helps. When I was working full-time and writing the manuscript for Wild Words, I felt the pressure, but I also knew this project was my sole priority, which made it easy to say no to other things. Trying to do too much is always a recipe for disaster. To make priorities and get the clarity and spaciousness I need, I often ask myself one (or all) of these questions: 1) What’s essential?; 2) How can I make this easier?; 3) How can I do less?
4. How are you seeing the fruit of your creative work blooming now from seeds that you planted long ago?
I touched on it earlier, but pouring energy into my readers has been one of the best things I’ve done for my writing career. Seeing them gather around my own work, grow in theirs, and support each other along the way is incredibly gratifying. I also love seeing the seeds of book projects come to life. I tend to think about things for a long time before taking action, so ideas just germinate and I slowly take notes here, make an outline over there, get a little progress made, think some more, and then one day it all comes together. This always feels like magic, but writers know it’s a series of intentional actions, however small, that make those moments possible.
5. What inspires you: as a wife, mom, and artist?
I’ve always been inspired by the poetry of ordinary life—all the mundane things we don’t think are very important—that’s what I enjoy writing about or elevating. Whether it’s something my son said, a memory from when my husband and I were dating, cooking a meal, gardening. This is the good stuff. Food is endlessly inspiring, of course. Travel always ignites something inside me. In general, I’m really inspired by passionate people—it could be music, painting, making animated films, pottery—when I’m surrounded by people who love their craft, I feel that energy and it makes me excited to work on my own.
6. Do you have any favorite resources that you’d recommend to fellow creatives?
The books The Situation and the Story by Vivian Gornick, Still Writing by Dani Shapiro, and Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg are standbys on my shelf. I also love the podcast Between the Covers by Tin House. Host David Naimon has incredibly thoughtful conversations with all kinds of writers, and I always take something away.
7. Do you have a scripture, word, or mantra that guides your work?
Right now, I love the line from Mary Oliver that says: “Instructions for living a life: pay attention, be astonished, tell about it.” That’s our job as writers. Paying attention is everything—we notice things other people miss, which is why we can articulate emotions, or describe something in a way that resonates.
8. How do you believe motherhood and creative work complement one another?
Motherhood forces you to clarify priorities (see above!). I resented the process initially, but when you come out the other side and realize all the things you thought were essential actually aren’t, it helps you go deeper into the stories worth telling.
9. Have you ever wanted to throw in the towel and quit being an artist? How did you fight past that feeling?
I can’t go on a walk without stopping to type lines into my phone, my brain is constantly filtering ideas, drafting in my head while I run errands … it can be tiring! I have friends who aren’t artists and I’ve wondered what it would be like to be in their brain for a while. But then I write a line I really love, or see my next book come together, or feel wholly myself when I lose track of time during a writing session, and I’m grateful all over again to have this medium to process my feelings, express myself, and impact others.
10. If you could tell moms who long to create as they raise little ones a word of advice or encouragement, what would it be?
Your worth as a writer isn’t measured by bylines or word counts or books written. It’s easy to compare our journey to someone else’s, especially when we think we’re not doing enough, or not making progress as quickly as we’d like, but dropping into the present moment and embracing wherever we are can help. It’s one of the best ways I know to stay grounded.
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